seven days of falling

this track by the esbjörn svensson trio has inspired me for a new puppet play. initially all i could think of was a puppet slowly drifting, falling throughout the duration of this beautiful instrumental track.

then this reminded me of something deeper.

when i was really young, i had a third state of conscientiousness. a perfect liminal phase between the state of wakefulness and sleep.

i literally “fell” asleep every night. just before i falling asleep, or during the first moments of sleeping, i had the sensation of falling from a cliff, slowly drifting down. around me were objects, big and small. everything and anything you can imagine, also falling along with me in slow motion. maybe the cliff was also a structure composed of objects. i’m not sure. as i fell i observed the objects and thought a million thoughts. some of the objects were familiar, some not. it was a ride of reflection. perhaps my version of evaluating my day. this sensation had the same structure every night but the elements changed. namely, the objects falling with me.

the fall felt absolutely wonderful. i never felt fear. i always felt calm and peaceful because i knew exactly where this trip would take me: sleep, comfort, rest, dreams.

i don’t know when i stopped having this transitional stage before sleep. it had been many years since i even thought about it. seven days of falling has a sadness that my actual fall didn’t have at the time but it works perfect now. because that sadness is now mine.