Procrastinationus Maximus

Blog is where you procrastinate. Home of ridiculous imaginary projects, land of embarrassment.

Here I am, making spoof songs instead of writing about music ontology.

But it is sort of related to all that. See in class a few weeks back we were talking about Platonic ontological conceptions of music whereby the creative process of composing music is more like discovering pre-existing sound structures. Where might these forms be? In Platonic Heaven of course (which sounds like a place one would like to go when one dies).

So I imagined composers having privileged access to this realm of Forms while still breathing– hanging out, shuffling around, shopping for tunes.

Then I found myself humming “Heaven, I’m in Platonic heaven…”

Then this happened:

Heaven, I’m in Platonic Heaven

And my heart beats so that I can better steal

And I seem to find the sound structures I seek

When I’m up here plagiarizing in Platonic heaven
Heaven, I’m in Platonic heaven

All I do is pick random notes through the week

And I seem to have the gambler’s lucky streak

When I’m up here plagiarizing in Platonic heaven

Oh I’d love to compose a song

Write a single melody

But it doesn’t thrill me half as much

As plagiarizing in heaven

Oh I’d love to create anything

Rather than “discovering”

But I don’t enjoy that half as much

As finding free shit up here

Come on let’s hear applause

I want your palms ahurting

You ears apounding

When you hear my tune

In heaven, I’m in Platonic heaven…

And finally this embarrassing thing happened in my bathroom. The real star being the ventilation in the background:

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